


Superman's Gay Panic

by Lola_McGee



Series: Kara is Really Really Queer Slight AU [6]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: A bunch of mentioned LGBT issues, But it's not hard to see if you squint, Clark Kent is Queer, F/F, F/M, Gay Panic, Gen, Internalized Homophobia, Internalized Transphobia, Kara Danvers Swears, Kara Danvers is Queer, Kara finally gets to mentor Clark about something, Lena Luthor is Queer, Lena Luthor is understanding and lovely, Maybe even other tags along those lines, None of it is really stated, Swearing, To protect the people she loves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 02:39:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10981635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lola_McGee/pseuds/Lola_McGee
Summary: After the incident with the Pink Kryptonite, Clark Kent is having some issues coming to terms with what he learned about himself.





	Superman's Gay Panic

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by Sarah who commented in the last chapter of Casanova Kara, who said: "can we get Clark freaking the hell out about all the gender stuff he's been ignoring for forever? Because he's supposedly more human than Kryptonian so how is he reacting to the stuff it turns out he can't ignore because it's that different?"
> 
> That inevitably came into this. I hope it's enjoyable.

Clark Kent was having a world-shatteringly weird week.

(More of Weltanschauung shattering than world-shattering; he already lived through his world-shattering, even if he didn’t remember it.)

With his introduction to Pink Kryptonite (and the sudden… feelings aimed toward Winn and James), a lot of what he thought was sensible and correct in his life suddenly felt… less so. Less certain.

(Clark lived by his certitude, made his worth regarding his conviction between right and wrong. He couldn’t be Superman if he didn’t.)

Clark always had considered himself to be basically straight. Considered himself to be male in the human sense, even after he learned about his alienness.

(Learned about how his body was different from other humans even if no one who saw him clothed thought so. Learned the little nubs sitting above his hips weren’t there for humans. Learned that males on the planet usually have something else.)

After all, he’s always been told he was male. After all, each person who he pursued romantically was a human female. After all, despite how James’ smile was attractive or Winn was cute or Perry looked dignified, he didn’t feel a draw to them in the same we he was drawn to Lois, right?

And that all blew up with the Pink Kryptonite. With his call with Kara afterwards, demanding more information.

(How she told him how Kryptonian genders and relationships work. How she explained it in far more detail than Alex did during the incident. What the little nubs really meant. Why his relationship with Lois was absolutely different from everyone else’s. That his maleness is almost certainly a by-product of growing up on Earth and the Yellow Sun Radiation. That _it’s perfectly natural Kal. This… This is how Kryptonians are. Our reproduction and gender aren’t like humans’, no matter how similar we look on the outside._ )

(They both pretend to not hear how Kara sounded… proud, fulfilled to be advising Clark. How Clark sounded reticent, upset that he had to turn to Kara, to rely on her for further knowledge. Upset that he couldn’t be fully _human_ , no matter how hard he tried.)

And even as the days past by, separating him further and further in time from the Pink Kryptonite incident, far after when there should be any of it left in his system, he felt… off. He noticed men far more often, walking down the street, eying their smile or their stride or even their stubble. Paid attention to subtle signs in the people he saved, wondering how many of them questioned their gender, their sense of _selves_ ever, and what might have caused that questioning. If any of them went full out on it even.

(He knew about gender issues, obviously. The number of times that he had to save LGBT+ individuals from a variety of… unsavoury incidents made it near impossible to. But he knew about them in an academic way. That they exist. That they are at risk. He never… _knew_ , truly understood, any part of what they were going through. Until now.)

But the issue didn’t come to a head until a week after the incident. And it wasn’t anything that Clark noticed, that Clark learned about himself, which forced it. No, it started with another phone call.

_Hey Kal._ The trepidation yet excitement in Kara’s voice was evident, and he smiled, imagining his cousin bouncing on her feet, up and down, in excitement.

“Kara. What’s up?”

_Oh, nothing much, you know._

“Well, you usually don’t call without a reason. Do… Do you need me to, you know?” His voice dropped to a whisper. “Fly over?”

Kara giggled at that. _No, no, no! I was just calling… Well, umm… To let you know._ She paused.

“Let me know what Kara?”

_Well, you know Lena? Lena Luthor?_ Her voice sounded nervous, yet when she said Lena’s name the… pure emotion of it all was impossible to not hear, yet equally impossible to miss out on..

“Yes, Kara. Of course I do. I was with you the first time we met her, remember?”

_Right, right. Of course. Well, we’re sorta… kinda… dating?_ And that’s why she hesitated.

“Wait, what?” Even before he realized it, he was in his suit and flying toward National City, toward Kara’s voice. A trip of only a couple of minutes, while Kara rambled on in his ear; her voice lost on him as he got closer and closer to… L-Corp, of course. He landed on the balcony (heavier than he expected), and suddenly found himself face to face with a bemused Lena Luthor and an off-put Kara, who hung up and started berating him as soon as he opened the door.

“What the hell, Kal!” Her voice low, harsh. “Is this because she’s a Luthor? Since I told you that she’s not her brother or her mother and she’s proven that time and time again!”

He found himself backing away from Kara, trying to gain some separation from her accusations, his tone defensive. “Of-of of course not! I know she’s not Lex! Or Lillian! She saved my life, remember?”

“Then why are you even here?”

“Because…” And Clark Kent, so self-assured, so often in charge of himself and his actions, couldn’t help himself bend a little under the “Because… Because she’s… a she?”

 

Kara walked up to him and jabbed a finger into his chest, eyes hardened, moments away from glowing. “Clark! What the actual _fuck_? You know Lois isn’t straight. So if this is some kind of late blooming homophobia, you can just get the _fuck_ out of here.”

“No, no it’s not… It’s not…” He found himself completely off kilter, unable to express the thoughts roiling in his brain, his footing failing him as he fell to the floor. There seemed to be no words for it.

He hadn’t noticed how Lena had come over, how Lena softly touched Kara’s elbow. He did notice how Kara melted a little under the touch, how she relaxed ever so slightly. “Kara, darling. I think Kal-El is having a bit of a… shall we say gay panic?”

Kara’s anger of look faded to one of confusion. “What?”

“You know, what happens to humans when they first realize that they might not be as cis or straight as they thought. What Alex went through with Maggie before she got together with Lucy. What happened to me, when I was absolutely certain Lillian would disapprove. I know you never went through that darling, but you… you didn’t grow up here. 13 years on Krypton helped normalize certain things to you that… Well, that Clark here never had. Isn’t that right, Clark?” She had turned to him, looking at him with soft eyes… and understanding.

Clark just nodded. So she continued. “So, what I suggest is that the two of you either go out onto the balcony, or fly somewhere else, and have a conversation that I think needs to happen. Sure, you might have explained it to him before, but now is his time to ask questions, really ask questions. And after, he should go back to Lois and have a conversation with her. What he learned must have been… Well let’s say Weltanschauung-shattering.”

Kara nodded along. “Okay. Okay.” She reached her hand down to Clark, who took it gently and stood himself up. “I’m… sorry. For that.”

Clark Kent just shook his head. “No, I should be sorry. I’ve just been… a bit of a mess since what happened last week. Can you forgive me?”

Kara’s response was to simply wrap him in a hug and hold him tight. “Of course Kal. Of course.” And Clark Kent knew, that no matter how much his world felt as if it shattered, he’d be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> There we go. I hope it wasn't too bad or odd.
> 
> As always, kudos, comments and bookmarks make my day, especially comments since it lets me know what you guys are thinking!
> 
> Also feel free to yell at me about literally anything (such as all the Clark Kent isn't straight stuff) either here down in the comments or on Tumblr @alienbeegenders.
> 
> See you next time! Love y'all and I hope you have a good day!


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